How to watch Rutgers vs. Temple while at a wedding on Saturday night

The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee.

Some accept defeat when they receive an invite in the mail to fall wedding, willingly giving up the scarce opportunity to enjoy college football. Thankfully, I’m prepared to fight tooth and nail to catch every second of the Rutgers BLACKOUT game vs Temple tonight at 7:30pm (probably kicking off during the Father/Daughter dance).

Why? How? Well that’s easy...I’m simply built different.

If you’re reading this, you may have already my previous post on how to watch college football at a fall wedding. The options I laid out in that post are great and can work, but I think it’s important to document my real world experience today.

Here’s my plan that will 100% work:

Step 1 (quite possibly the most important step):

First, we need to go back two weeks. My fiancé is in the wedding party and this has provided me with valuable insider information regarding wedding. A few weeks ago, I incepted my fiancé with the idea of offering up my services to pickup breakfast for the bridal party the morning of the wedding.

The plan is easy — 7am alarm to pickup up the breakfast order at 8am (placed the previous day). Bridal party gets their pumpkin spiced lattes and avocado toast by 9am. The girlies are happy, fed, and think of me as a hero. Most importantly, now the bride can’t yell at me during the wedding when I’m watching Gavin go ABSOLUTELY nuclear against the Wemple Wowls. Honestly, the plan could end here, but there’s more work to get done.

Step 2

College Gameday and Colorado/Nebraska. It’s vital to familiarize yourself with what is going on in the college football world. College Gameday provides a nice crash course on all things college football, but also reminds you of what games you need to bet on. 9:30am-11:30am research and place bets. After that, relocate to the nearest sports bar to watch Coach Primetime take on the Cornhuskers. A must-watch game.

Before leaving, I will be charging airpods and portable charger. VERY necessary for during the wedding.

Step 3

Return to hotel after first half of Colorado game to charge phone and also get ready for the wedding. I’m gonna look GOOD at this wedding, but my fiancé truly might steal the show (sorry Bride). While I get ready, the hotel room TV will have on a multitude of games.

Step 4

Bus to wedding. This will be between the end of the noon games and start of the 3:30 games. I’m going to use this time to spread my wings and be the social butterfly my mother loves so much. Crack jokes, tell stupid stories, get people to remember me. “This guys great, he’s gonna crush it on the dance floor tonight”. BUDDY, you have no idea.

At this point, I’m feeling good, confident, and READY TO GO. I’m also checking the ESPN app for scores.

Step 5

Ceremony 4:30pm. Phone is away. Remember, I have insider information and I KNOW the reception will be maybe 10 minutes long. Bride and Groom are getting my undivided attention. Shoot, I might even cry. I’m going to try to sit next to Aunt or Cousin so they see “this guy has such B1G heart, he cares so much”. You’re right, I do care alot...ABOUT COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

Step 6

Cocktail Hour. See step 4. Pretty just going to repeat this.

Step 7

Reception. About an hour from KICKOFF. Time to focus up and dial in. People are a little tipsy but still remember me as the “funny guy” and the bridal party keeps thanking me for breakfast (I’m just a really great guy). Things could not be going better. But now...it’s kickoff.

Step 8

Left airpod in, BTN on my phone, its GO TIME. First quarter is crucial, so we start in the bathroom. Then, we’re just going to hover on the perimeter of the wedding acting like we’re on the phone.

That should take us to dinner. Airpod out. Second quarter at dinner. Phone rests nicely on the bread basket. This is easy, so so easy. We’re golden and also up by a BILLION.

Step 9

ATTACK THE DANCE FLOOR. It’s halftime, so decompress and have fun, but also plug phone into portable charge (told you it was important!)

Step 10.

Repeat step 8. Dinner will be replaced by dessert.

Step 11

Celebrate the win at the after party! GO RUTGERS