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Hey, Rutgers....I'm Tired!

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I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm tired of the insanity. Tired of....everything.

Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

I wanted to let some dust settle, but I needed to get this off my chest...and mind.

Our new writers had a chance to introduce themselves. Considering what I'm writing here, I think I need to do that, too.

When I entered Rutgers College, it was all male. The biggest football game on the schedule was Princeton. We got maybe 15,000 at most games, a nice number in a 23,000 seat stadium. Different times. Over the next 47 years, I've saw seven different head coaches, a move from eastern independent through three conferences, some horrible losses, horrendous seasons, and a turn around to a respectable program. And now? I've been punched in the gut, hit over the head, and frankly I"m just tired of it all.

A season ticket holder for over 30 years, I've pretty much seen it all. But the last couple of years, it's just gotten old, gotten to be wearing and grating. I'd like to be a fan who just has to think about, oh, I don't know, how about the season and playing the games?  We can't seem to get to that lately.

I'd like to be able to read sports news articles, whether online or holding newsprint in my hand, that talk about the team. The players, the results, and not all the other crap that has been flowing from Piscataway. I'd like to read "sports journalists", not hacks who may or may not have an agenda but who seem to relish writing about anything negative. One of our colleagues here has questioned that thinking, saying why wouldn't they want Rutgers to succeed? Because it doesn't matter to them. They get paid whether Rutgers wins, loses, or players get arrested. And the likelihood is that the news outlets get more views, hits, or clicks with bad news. As I once wrote, if it bleeds, it leads.

I'd like the University - my university - from which I hold two degrees, to fight back once in a while. Just because it's been published, doesn't mean it's completely true nor does it mean the University has to accept the negativity. How about an op-ed that says, "hey, you got it wrong and here's the truth". I'd help pay for an ad if Rutgers wanted to run one to counter certain writings.

I'm tired of defending my alma mater against people who seem to love to find fault with her and become pathologically excited when they have the opportunity to do so. Problems exist everywhere, and I'm not happy when they happen here. And they can and should be reported. But reporting a negative story and flogging a fallen animal are two very different things. But not around here.

For a building fanbase, Rutgers has not built up enough emotional capital to get past some of this stuff easily. Fans of Notre Dame or Alabama or ttfp can and will rally to the cause. They circle the wagons and fight back. We still wring our hands, gnash our teeth, shake our heads. It's not easy being scarlet.

I'm tired. That's all....I'm just tired. And I don't know if I want to keep trying to be the apologist anymore. I enjoy writing about the teams, the athletes, and some fun other things, too. But at times I feel like Sysiphus and that damn rock keeps rolling over me day after day after day.

I may need some time to think whether this is worth it. Whether trying to be Pollyanna in a Mad Max world is worth it. You got any words of wisdom for me? I mean, we're all in this together; help me. I'm too tired to do this alone.