Rutgers has its various uniform combinations, not all of which are big fan faves around here. It brought out its "throwbacks" (can you have a throwback that only goes back four years?) for homecoming. Okay, we can showcase stuff.
But it's gotten to a point (thanks a lot, Maryland and Oregon) that it seems schools are really trying to out do each other in the uniforms they seem to debut each freakin' week. Oregon has more combinations of uniforms than the Kardashians have TV shows.
And just the other day, Oregon revealed its pioneer helmet and uniform.
Yes, a topographic map of the state. Not just an outline of the state, but a freakin' topographic map.
As a former history teacher, you'd think I would be excited about this. Yet, strangely I find myself....speechless. Perhaps even a bit stunned. Truthfully, I think that Nike may have jumped the shark on this one.
And, apparently I'm not alone in thinking we may have gone too far. If any of you were in middle school in the 70's or 80's, you may remember a "simulation game" in history class called The Oregon Trail. It was a way to teach kids about history, having them make decisions as actual historical figures may have, and living with the results. And that led our friends at Lost Lettermen to come up with this:
REPORT: Oregon's next alternate helmet design: pic.twitter.com/yOppivMSm4— Lost Lettermen (@LostLettermen) October 5, 2015
And its next uniform to go with the helmet.
Really thought a B1G team would be the one to try and teach a history lesson on a uniform, but good for Oregon https://t.co/ObqW11lXhf— Matt Brown (@MattSBN) October 5, 2015
No, Matt! Not "good for Oregon"! Bad! Bad Nike! Bad! Stop!
But then, why not? And why not us? Why not Rutgers as the true leader (go away, Twerps) in historical uniform design. You want history, Big Ten (yes, we're all looking at you, leaders and legends)? Well, here it is, Garden State style.
Let there be light
Edison may have been born in Ohio, but he did his greatest work in New Jersey. The Wizard of Menlo Park accumulated over 2300 patents including the incandescent light bulb. For which we break out our commemorative helmet.
Eat, Drink, and Be Merry
Food, glorious food. In 1869, the Joseph A. Campbell Preserve Company opened in Camden. The company made canned tomatoes (yes, from the world famous JERSEY TOMATO!!) and vegetables, jellies, soups, condiments and minced meats. In 1897 it developed condensed soup, and the world changed. In honor of Campbell's, condensed soup inventor Dr.John Torrance, and Andy Warhol, Rutgers introduces its can helmet.
Of course, no trip to New Jersey would be complete without a pork roll, egg, and cheese sandwich. Pork roll was developed in 1856 by John Taylor of Trenton and sold as "Taylor Ham". It, in combination with the fried egg and cheese, is not recommended for those with heart conditions and clogged arteries, but it is a delicious breakfast sammich. Our Taylor Ham Helmet.
And in New Jersey, you can't talk about food without thinking of our governor....
The Healthcare City
Rutgers' home - New Brunswick - has long been called the Hub City because of its central Jersey location. But more recently, it has been referred to in public relations literature as the Healthcare City. With two major teaching hospitals, the Rutgers-New Jersey Cancer Institute, and the world headquarters of healthcare giant Johnson & Johnson, the city rightfully can lay claim to the title. And we salute you, New Brunswick, with yet another helmet.
Sing, sing, sing!
New Jersey has its share of great performers. But what other state has a Boss and a Chairman of the Board. Springsteen spent many a night in the early 70's not only in Asbury Park but in New Brunswick. Our next two commemorative helmets, courtesy of the New Jersey music scene.
Oh, the humanity!
There are few around here who would argue that this football season - for few football reasons - has been a disaster. So in "celebration" of great disasters in the state, we offer you the "Lakehurst".
The bottom line?
I actually enjoy some of the new uniforms and helmets. But, it does seem that we've gone a bit far at times. I'm just as happy with this....
Just win, baby!